How To March Madness In A Bar With Tiny Humans

By Drummond Herrtage, a Brooklyn dad who is an expert in THIS. #bowtothedown

Drummond and Aden have been practicing for a while now.

Drummond and Aden have been practicing for a while now.

  1. Bring snacks. Lots of snacks. Pack the amount you were going to bring, then double it.

  2. Don’t bring any good toys. This one is counter-intuitive, but they’ll end up lost/on dirty floor. Bring the ones you don’t care about.... Also...

  3. Improvise! They’ll love drawing/playing with beer mats & napkins anyway. Non-toys are more interesting than toy-toys.

  4. Leave before it gets busy... best for everyone.

  5. Don’t bring the massive Pushchair... you’ll hate yourself. Ignore Piers Morgan and wear the baby in a carrier. (We love the Ergo)

  6. Choose the right kind of bar/pub... lots of space. Citykin favorites in Brooklyn are The Kings Beer Hall (massive German beer hall, great beers and pretzels), Mullanes (great Irish pub in Fort Greene... kid friendly, good seating, with a little fenced in outdoor area) and Franklin Park (converted garage, lots of open space AND arcade machines in a corner... perfect for curious toddlers

  7. If you are feeling otherworldly ambitious and crafty, you can also make a “bracket” for your kid to bring along to the bar with you. I will not pretend to tell you how to do this or how to make it, but we’re positive if you Pinterest it, better parents than myself will show you how!

  8. Go to the bar in a group with your friends who also have kids. There is strength in numbers and the evil stares you may get from people who used to be us 10 years ago will be harder to launch when you are standing in a family pack.

  9. Pick a game you care about but NOT really. Pressure is off if the kids just can’t get it together and then you’re not a total arse if you miss a shot….or a half.

  10. Bribe them for good behavior and if the game goes into overtime and they’re wearing down….BUST OUT THE PHONE!