City Parent Tip Guide To Having Sex In Cramped Quarters
Kids throw a wrench in anyone’s sex life. But throw in a few hundred feet (literally), shared walls that bump up to neighbors and bedrooms and you have a recipe for all but destroying even the healthiest of sex lives. Citykin spoke to a bunch of city parents and asked them for some tried-and-tested tips for keeping an exciting and healthy sex life while living in smaller spaces.
“If the windows are open, at least close them..especially if there’s a ton of pedestrian traffic on your block because you’re right near a park… A friend told me this obviously;)”
“Sex in the bathroom —sometimes it’s the only room in the apartment where you can actually close (and lock) a door.”
“Sex in between your kitchen island and the counter, if they run parallel to each other, you can hoist yourself up like a bridge.” (We feel like we need a whiteboard sketch and props to this mom for having a kitchen island in her city kitchen. #GOALS.)
“On the floor between the coffee table and the couch — a good hiding space and it’s creative.” (BUT WHAT ABOUT THE LEGOS??)
“White noise machine…crank it UP!” (Genius)
“Sleep train the baby at 3 months so they sleep 12 hours off the bat.” (OMG three months is too soon to have sex though right?)
“Ipads are amazing babysitters when some afternoon delight is on the menu.”
"Send the kids to grandma.”
“No matter where you’re living, whether you are sure the kids are asleep or the windows are open…just do it. If the kids bang on the door and you have to scramble for clothes, guess what, you’ll likely laugh. But the bottom line is, keep having sex with your significant other!” (Digging this manuscript of wisdom!)
“Personally, I kind of get excited if I know my neighbors can hear me…and our kids are still too young to understand even if they did hear some strange noises coming from the walls next to them.”
“We go in the closet (yes our apartment has a big closet) or use the bathroom sink as it creates a bit of a surface to lean over in tight quarters. And there is a lock! Like everything with having kids, you learn to be efficient with time!” (So many follow up questions needed!)